stray notes

i rrational

natives learn to dance
in cypher, possessed by the irrational devil
like Dyonisos and shamans and breakers

Western civilization divorced from irrationality
that threads them back to the eternal origin

Heidegger sought after this
but only in the narrow pool of German

All land is me and I am all the land
not the land of Aztecs or Zulus or Heizer
but the land of lava and shale and limestone

Rousseau sought after this in universality
the romantics sought after violent passions
Marx was irrational
Nietzsche danced when no one was watching

the violence dance materializes revolution

새 날의 신호

초가을 검은 피부를 비추며

빛바랜 사진처럼
얼룩진 베게처럼
때 묻은 헌책처럼
따스한 색으로

허나 또

화장실 형광등처럼
태평양 한 가운데처럼
스마트폰 액정처럼
차가운 색으로

지구 바대편
밝힐 수 없는 공동체는

새 날을 맞이하는 내눈에게
빛으로 신호를 보내고 있었다

shame and existence

“The symptomatology of [abandonment] neurosis is based upon the tripod of the anxiety aroused by any abandonment, the aggressivity to which it gives rise, and the resultant devaluationof self… The first characteristic seems to be the fear of showing oneself as one actually is. This is a broad range of various fears: fear of disappointing, fear of displeasing, of boring, of wearying… and consequently, of missing the opportunity to create a bond of friendship with others or, if it already exists, damaging it. The abandonment neurotic doubts whether he can be loved as he is, for he has undergone the cruel experience of being abandoned when, as a child, hence without artifice, he offered himself to the tenderness of others.”

Black Skin, White Masks, Germaine Guex via Frantz Fanon translated by Richard Philcox

Not so sure about that…

“What is the objective of such an analysis? Nothing short of proving to Jean Veneuse that in fact he is not like the others. Make people ashamed of their existence, Jean Paul Sartre said. Yes: make them aware of the possibilities they have denied themselves or the passiveness they have displayed in situations where it was really necessary to cling to the heart of the world, like a splinter – to force, if needed, the rhythm of the world’s heart; dislocate, if needed, the system of controls; but in any case, most certainly, face the world.”

Black Skin, White Masks, Frantz Fanon translated by Richard Philcox

Yes, for sure!

bombastic english

Educated non-European non-native English speakers want to speak more sophisticated English, but sometimes it becomes bombastic when in front of native or European English speakers, as they try to sound more adult and prevent being talked down to like a child.

Does speaking more sophisticated English make one assimilated? But at the same time, doesn’t consciously rejecting assimilation at all times make one equally trapped in it? English is like a toothbrush. Everyone uses it. You can scrub dog shit off your sole, but you can also prolong the joy of chewing on steaks. There is no correct way to use it, but if you don’t use it, you’re a fool.

“Seeking above all in literature to formulate a message that is their very own, …they scorn the artifice which for them, whose intellectual education has been almost exclusively [English], would represent recourse to a language they could only use as a second language they have learned.” 

Black Skin, White Masks, Michel Leiris via Frantz Fanon translated by Richard Philcox

tracing body

Suddenly seeing the big numbers in the medical bills, the weight and vulnerability of being an independent adult in the American system bore heavily on him. The reality of being alone in America struck him as being lonely and depressing. But the force of history and social structures was something too grand to confront immediately, leaving him feeling small and cornered.

After coming into a frank social awareness he sometimes questioned whether he was a token or a model minority and started seeing less of himself in a role of being a close friend to others.

eternally praiseworthy

Therefore no event in the life of man can possibly be excluded from painting. Consequently, a great injustice is done to the eminent painters of the Dutch school, when their technical skill alone is esteemed, and in other respects they are looked down on with disdain, because they generally depict objects from everyday life, whereas only events from world or biblical history are regarded as significant…
Moreover, the scenes and events that make up the life of so many millions of human beings, their actions, their sorrows, and their joys, are on that account important enough to be the object of art, and by their rich variety must afford material enough to unfold the many-sided Idea of mankind.Even the fleeting nature of the moment, which art has fixed in such a picture, excites a slight, peculiar feeling of emotion. For to fix the fleeting world, which is for ever transforming itself, in the enduring picture of particular events that nevertheless represent the whole, is an achievement of the art of painting by which it appears to bring time itself to a standstill, since it raises the individual to the Idea of its species…
Therefore, those eternally praiseworthy masters of art expressed the highest wisdom perceptibly in their works. Here is the summit of all art that has followed the will in its adequate objectivity, namely in the Ideas, through all the grades, from the lowest where it is affected, and its nature is unfolded, by causes, then where it is similarly affected by stimuli, and finally by motives. And now art ends by presenting the free self-abolition of the will through the one great quieter that dawns on it from the most perfect knowledge of its own nature.

Arthur Schopenhauer, The World As Will and Representation, Section 48.

great things

They constantly look back to see how far they have come: this curbs their drive. They can have honorable careers with such methods, but will not accomplish great things. It should be said that many men too are only able to build mediocre careers. It’s only in relation to the best of them that the woman – with very rare exceptions – seems to us still to be bringing up the rear.

Simone de Beauvoir – The Second Sex

Anti-social Socialist

My biggest drive is to cultivate my spirit. I will to enrich my spirit.
The aesthetics. It demands desire that withstands time and scrutiny of honesty.
What I create should perfectly capture my spirit in all its imperfect richness.
World should overflow with this aesthetic.

That world is what I deeply desire. I want to be in that world and be that world.
And yet, time and time again, though with less frequency, it saddens me in moments of realization
that there is very little of aesthetics in this world, because there is little sensibility and appreciation for it.

There was a time when I romanticized over social bond to others.
That there is something beautiful in the relationship between people.
While that’s true, I realized it is so only partially.

Relations between people also require tension.
That’s what solidarity is. To share the time and space in keeping the tension and conflict.
And humor is a good lubricator.

I have rubbed my own skin on some of these relations.
And I regret none because I can say with little hesitation now.
I no longer romanticize over the others.

The others are the biggest unknown, the object of fear, the God.
But they are also always a reflection of me, hence my foremost enemy.
Disappointment quickly mutates to disgust when I sense a hint of poverty in the spirits of others.

Comrade has become a dull word which lost this sense of contradiction.
They lack the sensibility and appreciation for aesthetics.
A comrade is not a dialectician.

I’m a humanist because I wish the human species to thrive.
So I’m also a humanist because I have no empathy for any poverty in human spirits.

If philosophers have for long understood the world in contradictions,
I admit after all, I’m an anti-social socialist.

telos attested

To reform consciousness through the analysis of mystical consciousness unclear to itself in somatic movement and language attested by dialectical historical materialism to incorporate the particularity of the self as a subject in their time, the particularity of which is digital technology and flashing of collective consciousness, into the chain of totality.

Say something about the method of composition itself: how everything one is thinking at a specific moment in time must at all costs be incorporated into the project then at hand. Assume that the intensity of the project is thereby attested, or that one’s thoughts, from the very beginning, bear this project within them as their telos. So it is with the present portion of the work, which aims to characterize and to preserve the intervals of reflection, the distances lying between the most essential parts of this work, which are turned most intensively to the outside.

The Marxian theory of art: one moment swaggering, and the next scholastic.

Our election cry must be: Reform of consciousness not through dogmas, but through the analysis of mystical consciousness that is unclear to itself, whether it appears in a religious or a political form. Then people will see that the world has long possessed the dream of a thing – and that it only needs to possess the consciousness of this thing in order really to possess it.

Walter Benjamin, The Arcade Project [N1, 3], [N4a, 2]
Karl Marx, Der historische Materialismus: Die Frühschriften (letter from Marx to Ruge; Kreuzenach, Sep 1843)


Nietzsche was not as thoughtless as to enthrone ‘will’ absolute efficacy.
He expressed a hint of materialism in his thought.
He was also not as vulgar to think intellect meant purely positive consciousness.

Against him (Schopenhauer) I offer these propositions: first, in order for willing to come about, a representation of pleasure or displeasure is needed. Secondly, that a violent stimulus is experienced as pleasure or pain is a matter of the interpreting intellect, which, to be sure, generally works without our being conscious of it (uns unbewußt); and one and the same stimulus can be interpreted as pleasure or pain. Thirdly, only in intellectual beings do pleasure, pain, and will exist; the vast majority of organisms has nothing like it.

Nietzsche, The Gay Science, translated by Josefine Nauckhoff